Release~Freedom

Release~Freedom

Get over it! Move on! Go find somebody else! These are just a few of the statements said whenever you bring up that one male specimen you can not get out of your system. Letting go is so hard to do. Especially when you planned a whole future in your mind with this individual.

When it came to him I saw nothing but blue skies and sunshine because we had already been through the storm..or so I thought. So why is it that I'm left feeling unavailable to love, or be venerable again?  I read a post from Blackcitygirl on Instagram that made what I already knew finally hit me in the right place... My heart. We can tell our brains a million and one times to let go, move on, you deserve better. This is good energy to put into the atmosphere however just like anything you do in life if your heart is not in it, it will fail. Then again not talking about it will not make letting go any easier either. The post stated that a step in letting go is to let it out. Whether it is crying, screaming, writing, or talking to a trustworthy friend. So here is my first step to letting go...

I had an on again off again situation that lasted 3 years. When it finally clicked in my head ”Domo this is not going to work, stop trying, he is not the one for you", My goodness did it hurt like hell to feel that reality. The first few days I was miserable, I wanted to call him, text, face time, anything! Overtime he became my best friend. Could you imagine not ever talking to your female best friend again? Not being able to share music only you two understand. Not being able to laugh about something because no one understood it but them. In order to move on, I have to understand that I am not the problem of why it did not work. Often times we as women overthink and evaluate situations, then finally conclude that it was all our fault. Or that something is wrong with us. I have to tell myself that everything that I felt for him was real. My energy was real, my affection was real, my feelings were real, and my LOVE was real, but it was not meant for him. I try to remind myself daily that I am a AMAZING woman who deserves a AMAZING love. But in order for me to receive it I have to first let go of the hurt. It is easy to wallow around in bitterness with a sour look on my face. So instead I am going to challenge myself to be vigorous with a smile on my face.

This is not a post about something I accomplished already. I am still very much dealing with these feelings of mine now. It was very difficult to even share this but I felt it was necessary for me no matter what anyone thinks. Everyday I am working to keep myself busy. Whether it is hitting the gym blogging, reading a book on my kindle, or just setting time aside to laugh my friends about absolutely nothing! None the less I'm sharing my journey of pulling myself out of the dark. So I hope if you're in the same boat we can go through this ”let go” journey together and finish strong.